Here are some more Free Stories!

“Crazy Man” Ro’Jack

This is a character that I created back in the 90’s, but I remember fondly.

This is an old story with him about Ro’Jack protecting a deaf girl.

It’s fun and kinda goofy, and I only gave it a cursory edit.

I’m not apologizing for any of that.

Fair warning.

~Uncle Walter

Shira In Silence

By: W. Esselman

Gabriel "Crazy Man" Ro'jack looked at Emily Mayhew and smiled slowly, stoking his mustache.  They sat in the fields outside the human colony New Rowenoke on planet Chigara.  Ro'jack kicked the food containers off the blanket and he and Emily lay slowly in each other's arms.  Ro'jack's hand, mahogany on ivory, stoked Emily's cheek.

Ro'jack leaned forward and kissed her slowly but passionately.  His hand drifted between them down her throat.  It stopped at the top button of her blouse.  Emily grinned as they kissed.  Slowly Ro'jack undid a button.

‘Sqwak!’ Went his communicator.

"Son of a bitch.  God damn it," growled Ro'jack.

Emily did up the buttons of her shirt.

"You had better answer it," she said.

"The world better be crashing down upon someone's fucking ears," said Ro'jack fishing around a knap sack for his communicator.

"They wouldn't call you if it wasn't very important,"  said Emily.  She was putting the food containers in a basket.

"Yea! I know," said Ro'jack, opening the line.  "What do you want?" he barked into the communicator.

"Gabe!" snapped Emily.

"I mean 'How may I help you'," said Ro'jack.

"My name is Freidrick Ashington," said the voice on the communicator.  "Duke of the Kauren Empire.  Heir to the throne.  Lord of the Four Worlds.”

"Heard of you," said Ro'jack.

"My daughter is at a school on the planet Zadtow," said Ashington.  "As you know the King is dead and I am to be crowned soon.  There are forces at work that wish to use my child against me.  I cannot allow that to happen.  Her name is Shira, will you please help me?"

"Ten thousand credits.  Plus expenses," said Ro'jack.  

"Done," said Ashington.

"Then transfer the coordinates where you wish for me to take her to and I'll be on my way," said Ro'jack.

Ashington did and then cut the connection.  Ro'jack sighed and Emily came up from behind and wrapped her arms around him.

"I have to make a few calls before I leave," said Ro'jack.

"Just come back to me in no less than three pieces," said Emily.

"I love you."

"I know."

They kissed quickly.

* * * * * * * * * * 

A Black Bird, Model 42, fixer-upper-opportunity-of-a-life-time from Honest Abe's Rent-a-ship landed near the Talbert Private School on the planet Zadtow.  The ramp came down and Ro'jack walked down.  He had changed into his work clothes: a helmet fashioned after a skull and black body armor.

Vincene Wetherert and Mora Corbert looked at each other.

"Hi I'm Ro'jack," he started.

"Uh-huh!  I think we're going to need a DNA scan before we let you take the girl," Corbert.

"We will?" asked Wetherert eyeing the weaponry.  He carried a purple bag in front of him.

"Yes," said Corbert.

Ro'jack noticed that peering out behind Corbert was a girl.  She was skinny with shoulder length brown hair.  Ro'jack smiled then realized he had a helmet on.

"Are you sure we have to scan him," asked Wetherert.

"Of course Mr. Ro'jack if you please," said Corbert holding out a DNA scanner.

"Okay," said Ro'jack.  "I'm pretty sure I'm who I am."

Ro'jack snickered but when no one else was laughing he pulled off his glove and placed his hand on the scanner.

"I always hate these crazy gadgets," said Ro'jack.  "Itch like the dickens.  But I have great expectations of the new model coming out next year."

The scanner beeped and Corbert watched it like a hawk.  She eyed Ro'jack and then the scanner again.

"It looks you're him," said Corbert.  She turned around and knelt in front of the girl looking her straight in the eye.  She spoke slowly to the girl.  "Shira.  This is Mr. Ro'jack."

Shira looked at Ro'jack wearily who gave a little wave.  Corbert took the little girl's chin gently and turned her head back so that she was looking at the woman.

"He's taking care of you," said Corbert as she glared at Ro'jack.  "At least he better!  Now, he's going to take you to your father.  So..."

Suddenly Shira's face lit up and she ran up the ramp of the ship.  Ro'jack turned just as she disappeared inside.  He turned to Cobert and shrugged.

"A'int kids crazy," said Ro'jack.

Corbert just opened and closed her mouth while Wetherert studied his shoes intently.  Ro'jack took the purple bag from Wetherert.

"This is Shira's a'int it?" asked Ro'jack.

Wetherert bobbed his head.  So, Ro'jack waved and went into the ship.

"Shira!" called Ro'jack as the door swished behind him.  "Wonder where she got to?"

Ro'jack went into the cockpit and sat down.  He activated the central computer and located Shira in the dining area.

"Shira, this is Ro'jack," he said.  "I'm going to lift off now so hold on."

Content, Ro'jack lifted off toward space.  Once he reached open space, he set the navigation.  He walked down to the dining area.  Shira sat at a table with her back to him.

"Hi Shira," he said.

Shira just sat and sipped a drink.

"Shira?" said Ro'jack.  "Are you okay?"

When she did not answer he walked around to her. She looked startled as if she had forgotten he was here.

"What's the matter?" asked Ro'jack.  Shira furrowed her brow.

"She's deaf," said a voice behind Ro'jack.  He turned to see an eccentric character whose clothes, skin and hair were jet black.  His Eyes were like alabaster and his mouth like the coals of a blazing fire.  He was the Seer and he carried grilled peanut butter sandwiches.

"Come again?" asked Ro'jack.

"She can't hear you," said the Seer as he put the sandwiches on the table.  "She's deaf."

"You're shitting me," said Ro'jack.

"What are you saying?" signed Shira.

"I shit you not," said the Seer to Ro'jack while he signed to Shira.  "The big goof didn't know about your...hearing problem."

"I have no problem," signed Shira with a smile.  "I just have an inconvenience."

"Well put," signed the Seer.

"Can I talk to you," said Ro'jack as he pulled the Seer into the kitchen.

"What's the matter?" asked the Seer.

"What's the matter?" asked Ro'jack.  "I can't sign!"

"I know."

"How do you know?"

"You know not to ask me those questions since I never know," said the Seer with a goofy grin.  "I don't know who I am.  What I am.  Or whether a mind is indeed a terrible thing to taste.  I just know things."

"Great!  So what do you know?"

"I don't know?  I think I was sent here to help you.  Shira and I have known each other for a while.  She's a lonely kid.  There's not a lot of kids at that school so I was sent to keep an eye on her.  Keeping her company on the playground when there was no one to play, that type of thing.  I've sort of become a God-father of sorts."

"Or an angel," said Ro'jack.

"That's always a possibility," said the Seer.

"So, where does that leave me?"

"As a God-father in training Gabriel."

"We all have to start somewhere.  Come on, let's get back in."

"Gabriel.  Take off the helmet."

"You how I feel about that.  I like the helmet."

Ro'jack's hands moved to the helmet, he stopped for a moment then slowly took it off.

"Good," said the Seer.  "Come on, let's get back in."

They walked slowly into the kitchen.

"Is everything all right?" signed Shira.

"No problem," signed the Seer.

"Hello," said Ro'jack.

"Hello," signed Shira while the Seer translated.

"My name is Gabriel Ro'jack.  I am sorry about what happened earlier.  Your ...father did not tell me of your condition."

"Shira Ashington.  It is okay.  Would you like some of my sandwich."

"No thank you.  I stopped by Melba's Grease and Gas Shack on the way over."

"My father sent for me?"

"Yes he did."

"That's odd.  I thought he was going to have me stay on Zedtow for the time being."

"I guess he changed his mind."

"But..."

Suddenly there was a thunderous roar as the ship shook.  Ro'jack grabbed his helmet as he started for the door.

"What the fuck!" he cried as another crash erupted of two ships interlocking.

"Ro'jack what's going on?" asked the Seer.

"Someone's trying to board us," said Ro'jack.  "Tell Shira what's going on and I'll go up to the cockpit.

Ro'jack ran up to the cockpit to see a large Warlord class starship above them dwarfing his ship.

"Christ," he said in a small voice.

A red light flashed on the Communications board and Ro'jack pushed it.  A round faced brown haired man in a tuxedo looked at Ro'jack.  It was Harry Heck.

"Hello Mr. Ro'jack," said Heck.  "How pleasant it is to see you again."

* * * * * * * * * * 

Ro'jack sat at a table on board Harry Heck's ship the Lucifer.  Shira sat next to him and the Seer was behind them.  Across the table sat Harry Heck and his right-hand man Scatter.  Scatter had tangled black hair, a mask that covered most of his face, and a leather jacket with no shirt on.  The right side of his body was covered in prosthetics.

"So, Ro'jack," said Heck.  "I have come to make you an offer.

"Which is?" asked Ro'jack.

"That you give us the girl and we'll give you your freedom."

"Why not just take her?"

"Beacuse you have a frightening propensity to fight for what you have lost."

"True."

"So, rather than an all-out grudge match I thought we may solve this like civilized human beings."

"I wanna kill him," growled Scatter.

"Shush!" snapped Heck to Scatter who backed down like a dog told to heel.

"Crazy!  Maybe you should get a chain for him," said Ro'jack.  "Wouldn't want a madman like that getting loose and giving one of the neighborhood kids rabies."

"Why you son-of-a..." Scatter's vulgarity was cut short during his attempt to jump across the table when Heck rose and slammed his head against the table.  Scatter moaned and slipped back into his chair.

"Now I throw the next one who tosses an insult out the nearest airlock," said Heck as he sat slowly.

"I always liked your aberrant ways," said Ro'jack.  "Why do you want the girl?"

"Thank you for the compliment.  As for the girl.  With her father being crowned as the new king of the Three Worlds...well she would indeed be a good bargaining chip."

"Yes, I just wish I had my…," started Ro'jack.

"Teak box with your playing cards in them," said the Seer who held out the box.

"Thanx," said Ro'jack as he took the box and placed it on the table.

"Highly intriguing," said Heck.

"How 'bout this for a crazy scenario," said Ro'jack as the Seer moved around the table so that he could translate for Shira.  "We play one hand of cards.  Five card stud.  If I win, Shira and I go free."

"If you lose?" asked Heck.

"Well then you get both Shira and me.  Five year contract for the latter."

"Interesting."

"Deal?"

"Deal."

Shira looked wide-eyed but kept still.

Ro'jack smiled behind his mask as he removed his gloves.  He opened the box and removed a deck of cards.  With skilled practice Ro'jack shuffled the card like a Vegas shark.  After allowing Heck to cut the cards Ro'jack dealt five cards apiece to both of them.

Ro'jack looked slowly at his cards and then at Heck.  Heck sat in a calm aristocratic fashion as he viewed the cards.  Heck got two new cards and Ro'jack three.

"What have you got?" asked Ro'jack.

"Two Kings and two nines," said Heck.  "Yourself."

"Full house.  Aces and queens," said Ro'jack as he grabbed the cards and put them haphazardly in the box.

"Congradulations!" said Heck.  "It has been nice seeing again.  I will not impede your way back to your ship."

"Thank you," said Ro'jack.  Shira was already up and heading for the door with the Seer in tow.  "Bye."

The door closed behind them.

"Seer!  Tell her we are going to have to run," said Ro'jack who broke into a fast jog.

Without explanation Shira burst into a run.

"Don't you trust him?" asked the Seer.

"Hell no!" cried Ro'jack.  "All he meant by saying that he wouldn't stop us on the way back to our ship was that he personally would not stop us."

Two guards appeared in front of them as if on cue and Ro'jack ran between them and hit them both in the base of the solar plexus like a jackhammer.  They dropped fast.  Voices came from behind them.

"Ro'jack!  I'm coming to get you!" cried Scatter.

"We're not going to make it," cried Ro'jack.

"Seer!" signed Shira.  "Work your magic."

"I'll try," he replied.  The Seer waved his hands and the floors and walls became coated with ice for a 50 foot radius.

"Yipe!" cried Ro'jack as he slid to the ground and slammed into a wall.  "What happened?"

Shira lay near in a heap.  She slowly picked herself up.  "Nice job Merlin!"

The Seer, who hadn't fallen, listened to the screams and curses behind him ignoring her.

"I wish I knew how I did that," said the Seer to no one in particular.

"Are you going to help us out of this?" signed Shira.

"Of course," said the Seer and with a wave Shira and Ro'jack wore heavy boots with spikes on the bottom.

"These look awful!" signed Shira.

"True but they're practical," said the Seer.

Shira and Ro'jack stood slowly.  Ro'jack turned to the Seer.

"I don't even want to know," said Ro'jack.  "This is too weird!"

The three got back to the ship and climbed on board.  Ro'jack broke the glass over a metal box that said "In case of emergency" and tossed a fusion grenade into the umbilical between the two ships.

Running into the cockpit, he stumbled as the ship shook from the explosion.  Ro'jack powered up the engines and pulled away from the Lucifer.

"They're charging up the main batteries," said the Seer as he strapped Shira into a seat.

"I know," said Ro'jack.  "I know."

"Shit!  Get us out of here."

"I know!  Dammit!  I know!"

Ro'jack slipped the ship into hyperspace just as the main batteries of the Lucifer fired.  Save Ro'jack sat back and breathed deeply.

"Would you have really worked for him?" signed Shira as the Seer translated.

"Wouldn't have to," said Ro'jack”

"Why not?"

"Because we wouldn't have lost.  I would have engineered our escape if I thought we were going to lose."

"How would you know if we were going to lose?"

"Simple!  The cards were marked.  If he had had a better hand, I would've started kicking ass there and then."

* * * * * * * * * *

Ro'jack and Shira walked slowly into a small temple in the town of Grata on the planet Yelina.  It was a small but lavious temple with a marble altar, beautiful wooden pews, and there were six statues on either side of the room.

"This is beautiful," signed Shira.

"Isn't it though," said Ro'jack through the Seer.

A figure walked out dressed in royal garb.  It was Duke Ashington.

"Hello Shira," he said.

"Hello father.  How are you," signed Shira.

"I'm sorry I don't understand?" said Ashington as he glanced to either side of the temple.

"You do not understand your only daughter?" asked Ro'jack.  "I thought you to be accomplished in that area."

"I've just gotten rusty since my daughter's absence," said Ashington.

"Bullshit!" signed Shira.

"What did she say?" asked Ashington.

"What I was thinking.  Bullshit!" said Ro'jack.  "You're not the real duke are you?"

"Very clever my dear Ro'jack," said Ashington dropping a holo mask.  "My brother is the real Duke Renoir Ashington, but when I get his daughter I can force him to abdicate the throne to me.  Talmet Ashington." As he raised a hand and then clenched his fist.  The holographic images surrounding the twelve statues melted off to show members of Talmet Ashington's military guard.

"Now...give...me...the...girl," snarled Talmet Ashington.

"Ah! To be Ro'jack, or not to be, that is the question," said Ro'jack when with a wave his shell melted away to reveal the Seer in his place.  "Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to put Shira in danger and thus suffer the sling and arrows of outrageous fortune."  Suddenly Shira disappeared as well.  "Nothing but an illusion."

"Or to take arms against a sea of troubles," said the real Ro'jack as he placed a gun in the hollow of Talmet Ashington's back.  "And by opposing, end them."

"You tricked me!" snarled Talmet Ashington.

"No," said Renoir Ashington as he came through the front door.  "You did it to yourself."

"I will get you dear brother!" said Talmet Ashington.

"It is over," said Renoir Ashington.  "Shira is safe.  My men have this place surrounded and I paid Ro'jack double your offer to stop you if you try an escape.  He has permission to use extreme prejudice."

"Lay down your arms," said Talmet Ashington to his men.  They complied reluctantly.  Soldiers flooded into the room and took Talmet Ashington and his men away.

"Until next time," cried Talmet Ashington.

"I really wish they would think of something else," said Ro'jack.  "That's so cheesy." 

"I agree," said the Seer as he lit his emerald pipe.

"You are invited for dinner of course," said Renoir Ashington.  He turned to the Seer.  "You do eat dinner don't you?"

The Seer pondered this deep philosophical question.  "I suppose so."

Shira ran in the room signing so quickly that even the Seer was having trouble as he translated for Ro'jack.  "Seer and Ro'jack I want to thank you for all you've done.  I will miss you."

"I'll be around every so often," signed the Seer.

Ro'jack bent down and flipped up his mask and spoke slowly.  "If you ever need help.  Just call me.  Anytime.  Now take care."

"Thank you again," said Renoir Ashington.  "Will we see you at dinner tonight?"

"Of course," said Ro'jack.

"Then my car will take you to the castle," said Renoir Ashington.  "We have to take the hovercraft to town so that Shira can see her mother.  They've missed each other terribly."

They left with a wave and Ro'jack and Seer walked out slowly. In their elated state they missed the man in the bushes; tied up in his underwear.  Ro'jack and the Seer got into the back of the car.  A fogged window sat between them and the driver.

"Take us to the castle," said Ro'jack.  "But slowly."

"Of course," said the driver behind his mask.  He slipped a glove over his prosthetic right hand.  "My pleasure."

End.

Curse of the Vicious Sea Hares ~ A Dragonson Story

By: Walter G. Esselman

“Pav?” called out the young boy Gideon. He was deep inside the castle of Bon Su Pear, which was slowly sinking into the sea. His torch sizzled as a large drop of water hit it. Gideon felt very alone waist deep in the black water. “Pavataro?”

The water rippled behind him. Slowly a head, on a long neck, slithered out of the water drawing itself up right behind the boy.

“Boo!” whispered the creature.

“Gah!” shouted Gideon as he jumped out of his skin. The head reared back to reveal the young dragon Pavataro laughing uproariously. “Stop that!”

“You shoulda seen your face, Lunchmeat,” grinned Pavataro letting his tongue loll out in glee.

“We have work to do,” snapped Gideon.

“No,” said Pavataro.

“’No’? What do you mean ‘No’?” asked Gideon.

“Can’t go,” said Pavataro.

“And why not?” asked Gideon.

The dragon shrugged. “I’m a big, mean predator.”

“Definitely big, especially in the butt region,” said Gideon.

“Shut it Lunchmeat,” snapped Pavataro, using his old schoolyard nickname for the boy.

But Gideon stared him down.  

“Besides, this is all your fault,” said the boy.

“My fault?” asked Pavataro. “It was you who knocked over the table at the party.”

“And you who pushed me,” said Gideon.

“You deserved it,” sniffed Pavataro, though he was a little fuzzy on why the boy had deserved it. “But I don’t deserve this. It’s beneath me to hunt these…whadyoucallem?”

“Sea-Hares,” said Gideon.

“Who ever even heard of a Sea-Hare?” demanded Pavataro.

“I don’t know,” said Gideon. “Regent said that we didn’t have to hurt them really. 

It isn’t until they’ve established a big nest that they’re really dangerous.”

“So throwing some stupid jar at them is supposed to scatter them?” asked Pavataro.

“I guess,” said Gideon in a dubious voice. He fished a clear jar full of an off-white substance and they both peered at it in the gloom.

“I don’t want to know,” declared Pavataro.

“But we still have to be careful,” said Gideon.

“Seriously? From anything called a Sea-Hare?” asked Pavataro. “Give me a break.”

Which was when the Sea-Hares attacked.

They exploded out of the water gnashing at the boys. 

Gideon caught sight of a creature with the body and tail of a fish but the legs, ears and teeth of a hare before it bit him. Pavataro thrashed in the water trying to throw the creatures off.

“This is embarrassing,” whined the dragon as they batted the Sea-Hares off of them.

“Run AWAY!” cried Gideon and they both took off in a random direction. It was a hard slough to run in knee high water. Sea-Hares bit at him when he spotted the creature’s burrow down the rise from them.

“There it is!” cried Gideon as he surged forward. He fumbled in his pack for the suspicious jar that Regent had given him. Grasping the jar he pulled it free.

There was a crack beneath him and the ground went out from under him. He was sucked into a waterfall as he tumbled down into a pool of water below. Gideon hit the bottom and pushed himself up to get air. Just as he tried to suck in oxygen, Pavataro landed next to him knocking the boy back with a tidal wave.

Gideon emerged to say something nasty to the dragon when he realized that his hands were empty. He had dropped the jar when he fell. 

Pavataro stood out of the water and shook off a group of Sea-Hares. Gideon moved out of the way of a flying Sea-Hare without hardly noticing. He looked into the black water but he could not see a thing.

A cry erupted from the top of the half-built city.

“Snail burgers,” said Pavataro as more Sea-Hares rushed out of the city.

“I can’t find it!” shouted Gideon.

“Your brain?” asked Pavataro.

“No, the jar,” said Gideon. He was reaching blindly into the dark waters.

The Sea-Hares were almost upon them. Pavataro turned and stuck his snout under the water. The dragon let out a bright flame that lit up the water. The jar immediately glinted in the light.


“Got it!” cried Gideon. Grabbing the jar of suspicious fluid, he leapt up and threw it at the miniature city. The jar smashed in the middle of the Sea-Hare’s burrow. 

The approaching Sea-Hares screeched to a halt. They whuffled the air and suddenly scattered to the four winds. 

Gideon sat in the water and took a deep breath.

“Why...why did they leave?” asked Pavataro.

“Dunno,” said Gideon. “Maybe your breath.”

Pavataro whapped Gideon on the shoulder, but not too hard. The dragon leaned his head forward and sniffed the air.

“Lemon and tartar sauce?” asked Pavataro.

“Regent said it was his Mom’s old recipe,” said Gideon.

“And why do we hate Sea-Hares again?” asked Pavataro. 

Gideon opened his mouth for a moment and then shut it.

“Don’t remember,” shrugged the boy. He got up slowly and took a look around. 

“One question.”

“Shoot,” said Pavataro.

“Where are we?” asked Gideon. Pavataro looked around.

“I got nothing,” replied the dragon.

“Snail burgers,” muttered Gideon.


Professor Whizzbang’s Balloon Flute
By: Walter G. Esselman

Professor Whizzbang was a teacher. But he found that his classroom was too short for someone so tall.  And he was very tall. 

So, he and his bear, Milton, decided to make the world his classroom.

They packed all their belongings into a Thingamabob from the Great Lakes Expedition Company before heading out on to the open road. 

Milton and him took turns pulling the Thingamabob because that is only fair.

One bright morning, Whizzbang was walking along the street when he heard a little girl named Carmen crying. 

“Are you alright?” asked Whizzbang.  His white, fluffy eyebrows drew together in concern.

“My cat’s stuck in the tree,” she said pointing upwards.  “His name is Rascommon and he’s being bad.”

Up in the tree there was indeed an orange cat.

Whizzbang tried to reach the cat but even he was not tall enough.

“Please come down cat?” requested Whizzbang.
“Don’t want to,” spat the cat. “And you can’t make me.”

“This could be difficult,” he said scratching his fuzzy pointy beard.  He looked at the bear. “What do you think Milton?”

“I think we need tea,” suggested Milton while adjusting his silver spectacles.

“Young lady,” said Whizzbang to Carmen. “You better tell your mother that you’re going to be a while longer.  We wouldn’t want her to worry.” 

And the bear made tea while Whizzbang set up a little table with cream and sugar.

Carmen returned with her mother Ann just as Whizzbang finished setting out the cups and saucers.    Everyone shook hands and had tea.

“We could try the music steps,” suggested Milton.

“That’s a brilliant idea,” said Whizzbang slapping his forehead.

Whizzbang touched a button on the Thingamabob and the Thingamabob changed to create an organ with little pipes above.

With a flourish, Whizzbang began to play Mozart’s “Eine Kleine Nachtmusik”.  The black notes rose up out of the pipes and floated over to the cat who eyed them suspiciously. The notes reformed into little stairs all the way to the ground.

“Please come down,” pleaded Carmen.

“Don’t wanna,” grumbled the cat, Rascommon.

Whizzbang stopped playing and the notes drifted off on the wind.  They thought again.

“How about food, he loves tuna fish!” suggested the mother, Ann. She sprinted off and got a can of tuna fish.  They left it at the base of the tree.

“Come on down, you love tuna fish!” pleaded Ann.

“Not today,” said Rascommon.

“Now I’m hungry,” moaned Milton.  He pulled at his red and blue vest. 
So with Ann’s permission, they ate tuna fish on crackers and it was great.

“It’s too bad that the tree can not bend over,” said Carmen.

“Trees complain terribly when they have to bend,” said Milton the bear.

“We could try the balloon flute,” said Whizzbang.

“That might work,” said Milton. The bear went and got the balloon flute.  It was shaped like a wooden native flute.  Whizzbang put it to his mouth and began to play. And as he played part of Bach’s “Badinerie”, brightly colored balloons came out of the holes.  

Long strings dangled under the balloons.The rainbow of balloons ducked around the sharp branches and floated over to the cat.  They picked him up with their strings.

“Hey, stop it,” complained Rascommon but the balloons held the cat fast.

Carefully, the cat was carried down to the little girl and put into Carmen’s arms.  She hugged him tight until his eyes almost bulged out.

“What were you doing up there?” asked Carmen.

“Not telling,” said Rascommon.  He avoided her gaze.

Whizzbang looked from the tree to where Rascommon had been looking. He took out a little telescope and down the street, saw a pretty female cat in a window.  Professor Whizzbang looked over at the cat and tried to hide his smile.

“What is her name?” asked Whizzbang gently.
“What’re you talking about?” asked Rascommon guiltily.

But Whizzbang just looked at the cat with an arched fluffy eyebrow.

“Mabel,” mumbled Rascommon in embarrassment.

“Well, you must go and talk with her,” stated Whizzbang.

“But she is too beautiful to like me,” said Rascommon sadly.

“You never know until you try,” said Whizzbang.

And so, they went down the street and introduced Rascommon to Mabel.


The Assassin’s Penny is one of my favorite screenplays that I never finished. I have no idea where the story goes from here, but I love this opening scene, now in prose. And it vexes me that I have no idea what happens next. 
The story is born out of my belief that life is never too bad to kill yourself. If life is that bad, walk away. “Kill off” who you were and hit the road. Leave behind that other life and go forth. It’s less messy, and less selfish, than killing yourself. And you can come back once you’ve gotten yourself sorted out, which you can not do after you are dead. 
But once you are on the road, call your family every month from a non-traceable phone so they know that you’re all right. Don’t be a jerk and let them worry needlessly. 
This philosophy is embedded in another character, The Saracen, as well.

But, if you need someone to talk to:

National Suicide Prevention Hotline is 800-273-8255.


The Assassin’s Penny
By: Walter G. Esselman


The wind teased at Penny’s waitressing skirt as she stepped out onto the roof. She held the skirt down as she walked forward. Soon the wind quit as if it did not have the strength to go on. The rooftop was like a dark island surrounded by a circus of Las Vegas lights below. But up here, she was high enough that she only heard a susurrus of the cars, laughter and song below. Up here, they did not penetrate into the darkness that wrapped around her. 
Stepping to the edge, she climbed up onto the lip of the roof. Below was a garden courtyard just removed from the bustling street. She checked again to make sure that there was no one directly below. Penny closed her eyes.
“You’re going to miss the pool,” A voice said helpfully behind her. Her eyes snapped open and she looked over. Sitting, just a little ways away, was a thickly built man named Saber in a blue-grey suit. His tie was loosened at his neck and a cigar burned in his hand. 
“What makes you think I’m aiming for the pool?” Penny asked and she was proud that her voice did not crack.
“Wouldn’t recommend jumping otherwise,” Saber suggested languidly. “It’s a long way to sea level.”
“Twenty stories,” Penny replied.
Saber reached into his lap and lifted up a bottle of Glenfiddich.
“Well, I have a hundred stories,” he replied. “Would you like a swig before you go? Not good to travel on an empty stomach.”
“Thanks, but I’ve already had dinner.”
“That’s good.”
“Lobster and salad.”
“Better than Mickey D’s,” Saber nodded approvingly.
Penny hesitated because Saber still held the bottle of Glenfiddich out. Finally, he took a long pull from the bottle. He wiped the mouth of the bottle and then set it closer to her on the rooftop.
“If the lady so desires,” Saber said. His voice was deep, but smooth like the whiskey.
“And what are you doing up here?” Penny asked. Her slim shoulders were still bunched up under her work polo.
“Can’t smoke in my hotel room so I headed up here. It’s quite nice actually. All the light without the noises. The cacophony sets my teeth on edge after a while.”
“Too loud everywhere these days.”
Saber barked in laughter and Penny jumped. Somehow the laughter slipped in past her defenses and brushed her spirit like a caress.
“Ain’t that the truth,” Saber grinned. “Besides, I got a murder to plan an’ I think better in the open air.”
“Excuse me?”
“I’m in town to kill someone. Quite dead.”
Penny took a step back and almost went over the edge.
“Careful!” Saber said in concern. 
Penny moved off the edge of the roof, but eyed Saber wearily as if she had just found herself up here with a tiger. But Saber just grinned kindly at her reaction. 
“That’s nice. You might be the only person who would be sympathetic if he dies.”
“Why does he have to die?” Penny asked.
“Dude made someone furiously mad and cut his own throat,” Saber said in a sad tone. “Now we’re here to clean up.”
“Why tell me?” Penny was thrilled that the question came out without a quiver in her voice, since there was certainly a tremor in her stomach. But the big man just shrugged slowly.
“You’re going to be at ground level soon,” Saber said thoughtfully. “Who can you tell then?”
“True,” Penny admitted reluctantly. But she did not step back onto the lip of the roof.
Saber nodded his chin at the bottle. “That bottle’s getting lonely.”
“It’s whispering to you?” Penny asked with amusement. 
“Bawling its damn head off!” Saber barked. “Feeling lonely, forgotten.”
Penny’s shoulders turned inward to her chest and she deflated. Sitting on the edge of the roof, she picked up the bottle. Penny looked at the bottle for a moment.
“Sorry, no glasses,” Saber admitted. “I am not only a heathen, but a barbarian as well.”
Penny looked over at the big man for a moment and then took a long pull. It burned a little, but she swallowed easily. With a bright grin, she handed the bottle back to him. He nodded in respect.
“Thought I’d be coughing my head off?” Penny preening with a sly smile.
“Just a little,” Saber admitted.
Saber took the bottle and drank from it without bothering to wipe the mouth. His phone started chiming the song, “Ding dong, the witch is dead.” But Saber ignored it as he handed the bottle back to her.
“Aren’t you going to get that?” Penny asked in between swigs from the bottle. “You can, you know.”
Saber sighed. “Probably just my old lady grumping about something.”
“A married assassin?” Penny chuckled and Saber considered that. 
“Actually, I knew a guy who had twelve grandkids,” Saber said. “He killed a guy by pretending to fall beside the street. When the guy came to his aid, this old geezer pushed the guy in front of a bus.”
“That’s awful,” Penny grimaced.
“Murder is murder,” Saber said as his tone grew dark and thoughtful. “I don’t think you have any cause to make judgements.”
“I’ve never killed anyone!” Penny exclaimed defensively.
“You were going to join the rest of us, down in the fire,” Saber said.
“How do you know,” Penny said sharply. “Maybe I’ll be forgiven. I don’t think He wants his children to suffer.”
“I can’t say,” Saber said. “I’ve never met the man. But what do I know, I’m Catholic…”
“I’m sorry.”
“…Thanks, and I believe that jumping to sea level is going to tick him off.”
“Las Vegas isn’t at sea level.”
“You know what I mean.”
“And you don’t know for sure what happens after.”
Saber shrugged. “When Judas killed himself, God was sad because he would have forgiven him before that. Maybe he still would.” Saber gave a short, bark of a laughter. “I’m just saying that I’m not going to chance it.”
Penny upended the bottle and then blinked. She looked in it surprised and now a little tipsy.
“And I killed the bottle. Sorry.”
Saber did not comment but looked at the stub of his cigar. There was barely anything left.
“And I killed my cigar. Well, I guess it’s time.”
Giving a clap of his hands, Saber threw the cigar over his shoulder and stood up.
“Bottle please?” asked Saber. 
Penny, with the precise, planned motions of someone who had had too much, handed over the bottle. He took it in one hand and held out his free hand. After a moments hesitation, she took it. Saber led Penny up onto the lip of the roof. He let go of her hand and stood behind her. Wrapping his free arm around her waist, he pulled her lithe body close. Penny’s heart charged at the press of his warmth.
“Mistah,” Penny drawled in an excellent Southern accent. “I don’t even know you.” But the effect was ruined by her girlish giggle.
“They call me Saber,” the man whispered warmly into her ear. He held the empty bottle over the plummet.
“But that’s not your real name.”
“Ah! You haven’t earned that knowledge yet.”
“You won’t even tell a dying woman?”
“What’s your name?”
“P…Penny.” Her heart raced, but she was not sure if it was because of Saber’s closeness or her impending drop.
“Okay, P…Penny,” Saber whispered. “Are you ready?”
Penny’s heart felt like a lead brick in the darkness. “Yes.”
Penny closed her eyes and began to step forward but Saber pulled her back tight. She opened her eyes in surprise as Saber dropped the bottle off the edge to the empty pavement below.
“There you go,” Saber said.
“What?” The woman was confused.
“You jumped. You’re falling.”
The bottle smashed on the pavement far below.
“Penny’s gone.” Saber declared.
“But I’m still alive.”
“A minor technicality. Penny went to sea level. She’s gone. Now YOU, you can go on.”
Saber led the confused woman off the edge of the roof. She sat down heavily on the lip of the roof and squinted up at the big man in confusion.
“I don’t understand,” She muttered.
“We dropped the Sorrow-That-Was-Penny off a building, quite unceremoniously.”
“But…what do I do?”
Saber gave a sly smile. “Come with me.”
“What?”
“YOU don’t have to be at work tomorrow because Penny is dead, an’ if you’re dead, no one expects you to come to work. In fact, they might wish you had not if you’re starting to decay. Health code regulations and all that. But I, on the other hand, really need you.”
“You do? To do what?” 
“This and that. Does it really matter to a spirit?” Saber wondered.
She opened her mouth and then closed it again. “It does actually. You want me to help you kill someone?”
“Yep.”
“And that’s a better option than what I was going to do?”
“You won’t know until you try,” Saber said. “Besides, you still have a chance now at redemption.”
“By killing someone?” She asked in an arch tone. “And what about you?”
Saber looked down at the ground thoughtfully before he spoke. “He would have forgiven Judas for killing his only son…maybe there’s hope for me yet.”
“I’m not sure about this.”
“Would it help to know that the guy we’re after is a really bad guy, even by my…” Saber paused for a second. “…my rather loose definition of morality.”
“How bad?”
“You could say that he’s a real Son Of A Bitch. And we’re going to stop him from ever harming another kid again.”
The woman’s brow furrowed in deep thought.
Saber’s phone rang again and he answered it after the “Ding dong” but before “the Witch is dead”. 
“Yeah?” Saber asked. “I’m up on the hotel roof…I didn’t feel like answering earlier…I know we’re busy, but I had stuff to do. I think I found our Cinderella…I found her at my hotel…no, I’m not sleeping with her…”
Saber made an exasperated face to Penny and she giggled despite herself.
“Who’s that laughing? It’s our Cinderella. Where are you?…Why the hell didn’t you tell us you were downstairs? I’ll be there in a second.”
Saber hung up his phone and looked at the woman.
“Your old lady?”
“Yep.”
She looked pensive studying the gravel rooftop.
Saber stepped closer to her and squatted down before her. He put one finger gently under her chin. She looked up at him lost.
“Come with me tonight. Have a drink with an umbrella in it. If you’re not interested in joining our little job, I’ll kill you myself. Painlessly.”
She gave a bark of laughter and spoke sarcastically. “What a flattering offer.”
But Saber just continued to look at her seriously. “At least then your hands will be clean. Give you a chance at the clouds.”
She stopped as she realized the gravity of what he meant. Her voice faltered. She rallied and then she spoke.
“But why do that for me?”
Saber just grinned at that. “I’m a big softie?”
And for a moment, he almost leaned in to kiss her. Her breath caught again, but for a different reason.
The roof door banged open.
“We’re late!” Swirling out the door, a wiry young man with a receding hairline stalked out. The wiry man, Lemming, stormed up to them glaring at Saber. “What are you still doing up here?”
Saber just smiled at Lemming indulgently as he stood up.
“We’re not late,” Saber replied. “Polo is always behind.”
“What if he’s not, huh?” Lemming demanded. “What’ll we do then.”
“We’ll tell him we’ve been on the other side of the bar all this whole time AND where the hell has he been?”
Lemming spluttered and threw up his hands. He turned to look at the woman.“This Cinderella?”
“Yep,” Saber acknowledged. He turned to her. “Cinderella, this is My Old Lady.”
“Stop that!!!” Lemming cried. “It makes me sound like your girlfriend.”
“Old Lady,” Saber corrected.
“Whatever!” Lemming snapped. He looked at the woman, Cinderella. “You can call me Lemming. And me and the ton of meat over there are not in a relationship. We’re very unattached.”
Saber chuckled. “Lemming’s been nagging me for about…what? Fifteen years now?”
“Too fucking long,” Lemming admitted, but without much rancor.
Saber smiled. “Somedays.”
“Can we get outta here?” Lemming demanded.
“After you sunshine,” Saber said.
Lemming made an exasperated noise and went to the rooftop door. Saber turned to Cinderella and held out his hand.
“Where are we going?” Cinderella wondered.
“To get the bad guy,” Saber grinned.
Cinderella stood dropping her waitress’ half-apron behind her and a smattering of pennies rolled out. She took his hand and it was warm in the night.
Lemming just rolled his eyes to heaven. “God help us.”


Just after my 1st niece, Kara, was first born, I wrote a story about her and for her.  
It follows a magical little girl named Kara who is befriended by the trickster god, Coyote.  I am a big fan of Coyote so he occasionally runs through my writing.  
Now, this is actually the second story I wrote about my niece when she was first born.  Ultimately, I gave “Kara’s Coyote” to her Mother for her first birthday.  At the time, Kara was not into it, since she was more interested in Jean Paul Sartre’s work.  You know how babies are.  Anyhow, here it is.
[Update — 10/3/2020: Last year, my niece got married to a really nice fellow, and at the beginning of next year, she’s going to have her own little one.  Time flies!]

KARA’S COYOTE

By: Walter G. Esselman

“I want a doggy.”

This was said in the solemn, thoughtful way that philosophers reveal their findings after several weeks under a waterfall.  The little girl, Kara, looked up at her Mommy expectantly.  Kara's little dark eyes seemed to glitter. 

Her mother smiled in that benign way allowing the child to speak their mind, consider what they had said, and, hopefully, not promising a thing.

“Let your father and I discuss it Kara,” said her Mommy.

“You don’t want a doggy?“ asked Kara.  "We could get a nice one.  Molly got one for Christmas.  They got it from the an-i-mal shelter.  AND they put it in a white box with a red ribbon around it.  EXcept the dog chewed its way out and winkled on the carpet.  My doggie wouldn’t winkle on the carpet.”

“We’ll see,” said Kara’s Mommy.  “Now Mommy needs quiet work time.”

“Can I go in the back yard?” asked Kara.

“Only if you stay where I can see you,” said Kara’s Mommy.

Now as this conversation was going on, Coyote had been caught in a snare.  He was understandably surprised since he had figured that there were few if any poachers in the Detroit suburbs.  At least poachers that didn’t wear suits.  But he figured it just went to show something or other.  He wasn’t quite sure what.  He looked after the friend he had been playing and chasing with, but she was long gone. 

This was quite embarrassing for a demi-god like him.  The more Coyote struggled against the snare the more it held his hind leg.  He could call on a friend in town but he would just laugh at the poor creature.  He considered changing form when a squeaky voice interrupted.

“Who are you?” asked a small blue beetle.

 “I am Coyote,” said Coyote.  “Traveler and trickster.”

“Don’t look like you're traveling too far,” said the blue beetle.

“I’ve been temporarily laid up Blue Beetle,” said Coyote.

“You the Coyote from the south west?” asked the blue beetle.

“Yes,” said Coyote preening, at having his name so well known.

“Thought you’d be bigger,” said the Blue Beetle.  “Why’re you out so far?”

“Thought I’d see the world,” said Coyote.

“Looks like all you’ll see is a digestive tract,” laughed the Blue Beetle.

So Coyote ate him.  Or, at least chomped the Blue Beetle into his mouth and let it squirm awhile.  It was at that moment that Kara came upon him.  She had wandered into the woods to explore and now found something interesting.

Coyote spit the beetle out without even paying attention.  It hit the ground rolling while its body collected spitty mud.

“Gull-darnit what did you go and do that for?” grumbled the beetle as he wandered off.

Coyote looked at Kara and began to whine pitifully.

Kara walked over and stood a safe distance away.

In the background, she heard her mother calling but she would answer soon.  After she figured out what to do with the doggy.

“Help me fair maiden help me,” whined Coyote in his dog tongue.  “Help me and I will grant you a favor.”

“What kind of favor?” asked Kara.

Now Coyote had been around too long to let a minor thing like a girl, who shouldn’t be able to understand him, faze him.  This was along the same lines as if your pet explained in calm, easy tones one day why they would like your steak rather than their pet food.

Without blinking, Coyote replied.   “Anything your hearts desire.”

But Coyote was looking at her in a new way.  He had planned just to run off when she freed him but now he was not sure what to do.  Coyote peered deep into her and saw something special about her.

“I want a doggy,” said Kara in a tone of voice that left no doubt that she was going to be persuaded to settle for a Barbie.  “You’re a doggy.  So you be my doggy.”

“I am a coyote,” said Coyote.

Kara shrugged.  She didn’t care what Coyote said because he still looked like a skinny doggy.

Her mother was getting closer now.

“Sure, sure,” said Coyote.  He figured that that was the mother and she would probably take his ticket at easy freedom away.

Kara nodded and pulled open the snare.

Coyote was off like a shot!

“Doggy?” called Kara to the still-moving bushes.  “doggy?”

Kara began to cry in huge gulping sobs.

Her mother appeared immediately.  She crashed through the bushes ignoring the cuts she received.  Kara’s mother wrapped her arms around the little girl as she cried.

“Are you okay?” asked Kara’s Mommy.

“He…He…HE promised!” cried Kara.

“Who promised?” asked Kara’s Mommy.

“The…the…(Big sniff)…the doggy,” said Kara.  “He said he’d be my…DOGGY!”

And the tears started up again.

There was a bark behind Kara.  She turned around to see Coyote standing at the edge of the clearing.  He was doing his best martyred look.

“Doggy!” cried Kara as she tried to run to Coyote.

Her mother grabbed her by the overalls.

“No Kara,” said Kara’s Mommy.  “That’s not safe.”

“But he’s a good doggy,” pleaded Kara.  “He's nice, an’ smart, he won’t winkle on the cats, an’…an’ he even does tricks.”

“No I don’t,” said Coyote.  All Kara’s mother heard was a sharp bark and she started to edge away.

“Yes,” said Kara.  “He does.  Roll over.”

Coyote opened his mouth to speak and then he looked at her expectant face.  He dropped to the ground and rolled over.

“Sit up,” ordered Kara and he did so.  “Shake hands.”

Coyote whined pitifully, not wanting to debase himself even farther.

“SHAKE HANDS,” said Kara.

Sighing inside, Coyote did so.  Then he hopped on his hind paws toward them.  When he was close, Coyote dropped to the ground and walked the rest of the way with his head down.

Kara reached out a hand before her mother could stop her.  Coyote let Kara and then her mother scratch him behind the ears.

I guess I can stay a little while, thought Coyote.  Just to look after the girl.

Now Dad was none too happy to have gained another member to the family.  But he warmed up when Coyote appeared with his slippers.  A moment later Coyote sneezed them out because they had been forgotten under the parent’s bed for a long time.

It was an odd transition.  Coyote preferred to be free.

But he found, to his horror, that he was enjoying his suburban prison.  True, he couldn’t go and do as he pleased when he wanted to, but there were certain advantages to this life. 

Warmth was one of them.

He had traveled a long time and had spent too many nights under a cold bush with nothing to keep him warm.  Also, he knew it was a long way to Arizona and a harsh winter was setting in. 

The food was awful, but on the other hand, you didn’t have to chase after it.  It just waited placidly while you ate it.  He had never had deer do the same.

Coyote could leave anytime he wanted to.

He just didn’t want to.

But suddenly he was having second thoughts about that.

“You stink,” said Kara as she wrinkled up her nose.  She stood before a bathtub set against the vine-covered house.  The tub was crowned with bubbles.

"What?“ replied Coyote.  "It’s taken me a long time to get my scent just right.”  He preened.  “Even a little tiger in there.”

“Can’t smell like that here,” said Kara shaking her head.  “Too stinkee.”

Coyote started to back away.

“Now come back here Coyote,” said Kara.  She was getting upset as she circled around to try and back Coyote into the water.

Nice tactic, thought Coyote.  She’s smart and…what’s this?

Coyote was too busy trying to get a fix on her aura to notice that she had planted herself opposite the wall, with him in the middle.  Kara’s aura began to crackle with energy that she must have been storing up over the course of her life.

Like a battery, thought Coyote.

“Get in the water now!” said Kara who was obviously frustrated.

And she’s about to explode…at me no less, thought Coyote.

The blue aura flushed with red and the combination of colors turned a green until all the blue had been flushed out.  All that remained was a brilliant red.  Coyote felt the pit of his stomach drop.

Kara stomped her foot and the ground crackled with energy.  Coyote knew that once started Kara, she did not have the maturity to stop the flow of power emanating from her.

I’ll have to…, started Coyote’s thoughts when instinct took over.  He tossed himself to one side as several vines grasped at the air he had just vacated.  Coyote looked back at the house and the vines creeping up its side were now pulsing with life.  They pulled off the side of the house like an octopus’ tentacles and arced toward Coyote.

Kara stood rooted to the spot.  Her mouth gaped as the vines were attempting to snatch Coyote.  He bobbed and weaved as he leapt in and about the vines.  Coyote did not have time to see how much energy was pouring into the ground from Kara.  She did not even know she was doing it.

Coyote looked at Kara desperate for a plan to help the girl not to mention himself.  A vine snatched his leg.  It began to drag him towards the bathtub.  Another vine snapped toward a front paw.  Coyote dodged at the last second.  Then a plan came to him.

Coyote took a large leap toward Kara but the vines slowed him down.  As more and more of the vines began to grasp him, Coyote took step by agonizing step toward her. 

Kara just watched his advance as if it were a dream.

The vines on Coyote pulled him back a few steps but he fought against them.  He regained those steps and more.

All of Coyote’s attention was focused on Kara’s hand.  He reached out with his head and touched his wet nose against it.

There was a red arc like a static shock from her hand to his nose but it did not go away.  All of Coyote’s hair stood on end as he drained the latent energy from her.  Her aura turned green and then sea blue. 

The vines let go of Coyote and went back to the wall where they stayed.  Kara sat down.

“Tired,” was all she said.  She curled up on the ground and fell asleep.

Coyote sat down heavily.  His black nose smoked a little bit.

“All in a good day's work,” grinned Coyote as he curled up next to her.

They slept for a while until Kara woke.

“I fell asleep?” asked Kara.

Coyote blinked once or twice.  Need coffee! thought Coyote.

The past in Kara’s mind drifted across her memory like a bad dream.

Kara shook him.

“What happened?” asked Kara.

“You were tired so you took a nap,” shrugged Coyote.  He yawned showing all his teeth and then smacked his mouth a few times.  He regarded Kara.  The power was almost completely drained from her.  She would be safe for a good while; but just in case, he would have to hang around in case she built up another charge like that one.

Kara shook him.

“You’re not listening,” said Kara.

“What?  Sorry?” said Coyote.

“I said, we still haven’t given you your bath,” said Kara.

“Oh no,” moaned Coyote.